Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
