I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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