I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
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