I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
