i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
