So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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