A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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