I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
