i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
