i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
