So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
