Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
