I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
