ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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