I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
