This girl is more easily done than said...
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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