areolas are like halos for boobs.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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