I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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