Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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