Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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