laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
