He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
cat food counts as protein by the way
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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