Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
