96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize