Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
