Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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