I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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