I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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