I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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