Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
