Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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