Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
