I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
