remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize