I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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