If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize