Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
