So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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