Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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