If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
