At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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