So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
