I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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