maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
