I need help removing her.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
