we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
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We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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