Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
How's work?
Spinning.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
