I feel like I'm in dance class right now
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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