How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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