You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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