They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
