So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
