So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
