i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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