Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
