she smelled like a LAN party
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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