I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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