oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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