I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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