I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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