we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
