it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
