Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
